Which would require a bit of modification to apply to WATCH_DOGS 2.

Also, the tagline of Hackers was 'Their only crime is curiosity'. Marcus doesn't get off with the hot girl hacker at the end, because that would require either character having a granule of passion and genuine human warmth. To this end he joins an underground hacktivist group consisting of two spectacular super-spergs, a fairly indistinct black dude to whom I immediately pointed and yelled 'That motherfucker's gonna die first', and a girl with a middlingly brown skin tone, corn rows on one side of her head and a white girl hairdo on the other, who I can only assume was an attempt to fill the entire diversity quota with a single character.Īll these youngsters talk the way a roomful of thirtysomething writers assume kids talk like these days, but despite being the kind of achingly trendy that starts ageing poorly the second after the producer envisions it during a turkish bath gob job, the story of WATCH_DOGS 2 is remarkably reminiscent of Hackers, the 1995 movie starring a young Angelina Jolie.

Our protagonist is Marcus Holloway, gifted young hacker who was wrongly sentenced to community service and decided that the most balanced, level-headed response would be to start gunning down police officers. And now, after everyone pointed out that the story of WATCH_DOGS 1 was a depressing self-pitying gritfest starring the world's least interesting vigilante tramp, the calculating machine has promptly taken the obvious step in the exact opposite direction with WATCH_DOGS 2 and made it about colourful wisecracking millenials who if left to their own devices would probably devolve until their spoken language consisted entirely of sarcastic memes and snorting noises. First people complained about Assassin's Creed: Unity not having enough women so that got fed into the calculating machine and out popped Assassin's Creed: Syndicate, with optional female protagonist and remarkably gender-diverse Clockwork Orange rape gangs. Ubisoft, serious question, are there any actual human beings making your decisions anymore? Your credit sequences are longer than an episode of Inspector Morse so I know human beings are involved somewhere, in the same way that that cloud of smoke coming out of the concentration camp chimney probably 'involved' human beings at one point, but the moves Ubisoft've been making lately are consistent with an entity that has needed to have the concept of human emotion patiently explained to it.

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Watch_Dogs 2.

Watch dogs 2 characters